Jobs, anxiety and stuff

So many things to catch up on here...

First, the job search.  There were two jobs that I applied for recently that I was really hopeful I would get.  I think one of them I already mentioned.  It would be working from home 30 hours a week doing market research for a huge national company.  It would be an amazing job.  I had a phone interview that went very well, then I never heard anything back.  I followed up last week and found out that the job has been put on hold because the Hiring Leader is going on maternity leave in a few weeks.  So that one's out.  Then I got an interview with another company locally that would also be a great job.  Typically, around 100 people apply for these positions and they interview about 5.  I was one of the 5 they interviewed.  I have a friend who works in HR for this company, and my brother-in-law works there.  So I called both of them and asked what they knew about the job.  They gave me lots of tips and I went into the interview feeling prepared.  Turns out, the guy hiring used to work with my brother-in-law.  It was a panel interview with 5 people interviewing me.  Definitely intimidating.  But I still felt prepared.  They asked me 7 questions total and then I had a chance to ask them questions and then it was over.  I was the last interview of the day.

The interview was on a Friday and I anxiously waited to hear something.  On Wednesday I got a call.  Yay!  But no, I didn't get the job.  They were just calling to give me feedback on my interview.  He said normally they don't give feedback to external applicants, but he wanted to call me (I guess because he worked with my brother-in-law).  The feedback was good, but it depressed me.  Basically, I was qualified, and they liked some of my answers about how I do my job and would be able to do that job, but they just didn't like me.  He didn't say it like that, but that's basically what it was.  Yeah, I get that not everyone will like me, but I happen to think that I'm easy to get along with, and I can do the job and why wouldn't someone like me???  And now I feel like an ass for asking my brother-in-law to put in a good word for me, and then them not liking me.  Like I've let him down or something.  So that's that.  Back to the drawing board.  Why is finding a new job so freaking hard???

In other news, I went back to my therapist for a "tune-up" last week and yesterday.  With all the job stuff going on, my anxiety has been ramping up and I'm trying to get it under control.  We did some more EMDR and I am already feeling more relaxed.  Plus, I also saw a psychiatrist at the same practice and she gave me some anti-anxiety meds.  I'm trying to only take them when I absolutely need them, but they're a lifesaver sometimes!

So, that's what's going on with me lately.

Next week I finish the PCOS study that I've been participating in.  I should probably do a post about that too.  Maybe when I'm done and get all the results back I'll share.  I'm just ready to be able to eat what I want again after four months of eating the food they give me!