During the EMDR, she asked me if I felt different this go-around, since I've been doing so much in preparation for the transfer. My response was that I did not feel as stressed and desperate as I did with the last IVF. Looking back, I was hanging by a thread and I'm surprised I didn't totally go off the deep end. She asked me what words I could use to replace stressed and desperate when describing my state of being now. It was hard for me to come up with one. The word "relaxed" kept coming to mind, but I'm not relaxed about it. There is still stress, but it's a good stress I guess. When I think about the upcoming transfer, I know that I've done everything in my power to make it a success. At some point I have to let go. Let what will happen happen.
So instead of a word, we came up with sentence: "I am realistically hopeful". I'm not pessimistic about this cycle, but at the same time, I'm not convinced that it will work. I'm realistically hopeful and that's all I can really be right now.
2 comments:
Hi Brandy. Here on my return visit ;-)
I really like the sentence "realistically hopeful" - that's a really good description about how I, too, feel currently about my upcoming first IVF.
Wish you the best of luck both for your therapy and, of course, for your FET in May!
That is a great sentence and it can be used in so many situations. I remember those feelings before an IVF, FET or any cycle. So desperately wanting to be hopeful and positive, but after a while, it just gets harder and harder.
Good luck with staying hopeful doing what you need to do before your FET.
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