Sometimes even the most innocent comment can just slay me.
I posted on facebook about a Sunday afternoon nap. Most of my IRL friends don't know about our infertility. So then, I get this comment on that status: "yeah...if one day you have kids you will probably never get another one! I miss those!"
What I wouldn't give to give up those Sunday afternoon naps!
17 comments:
ugh, I know what that's like! So many innocent comments just stab in the heart!
Kellie
ICLW
Those little comments can just cut right to your heart, can't they. The worst for me is that I'm not prepared for them and they just come out of no where.
Your dog is adorable. I'm amazed that he can run so far with you. My parents dog has thunderstorm terror too. They wrap her in a blanket to help. But, I did read about a special storm blanket for dogs that has some lining that makes the dog feel better. Worth a google, maybe.
I completely understand.
People fail to realize how simple things can hurt so deep. But then the paradox is that there are people who have really no idea about our private struggles, so they can't be held in for ignorance.
Tough call!
Good Luck to you!
ICLW
I'm sorry. I know how that goes. They're intentions are to be cute, but it hurts worse than anyone could ever imagine! Sorry!!
xoxo
~Michelle
I saw that and thought that was really rude...
Thanks Andrea! I do think it was totally innocent. She's just an old friend from high school. All she really knows about me is what I post on facebook. Still hurt though.
I totally get that. Over the summer my mom's cousin came to visit and made a comment about how "all the kids" (my generation) seem to get married and have babies right away and then asked why I hadn't had any yet...
She didn't know, she wouldn't understand anyway...but it still stung me to the core.
I'm sorry those comments are the worst. Most of my friends mention often how lucky we are because we don't have kids and can do what we want. They just don't get it. I'm hoping you at least were able to enjoy your nap! Good luch TTC!
ICLW
Oh facebook comments. I had a cousin write once, "If you were 31 weeks pregnant like me, you'd love [the unseasonably cold July] it."
Stopping by for an ICLW visit...
No. 95: The Unfair Struggle (male-factor infertility, good friends, neighborhood rumblings)
One of my sweetest, dearest friends did something similar this weekend - complaining about the terrible twos her 2-year old was going through. Trade her in a minute.
Those comments can cut to the core. {{{Hugs}}}
That would have ruined my day. I'm sorry. :(
ICLW
Happy ICLW!
I can sympathize with both sides as I've put my foot in my mouth many times without intending to hurt anyone's feelings. I've also been on the end where a simple/innocent comment hurt so bad I could barley breathe. I'm really sorry her comment hurt your feelings.I hope you're feeling better today. Sending you lots of love and peace.
*HUGS*
You know, I agree with you and the commenters that the FB comment was made in ignorance. BUT...one thing I've learned through my loss and online friendships with other women(and it's a lesson I wish the whole world would learn) is to never make a "when you have kids..."comment to someone that doesn't have kids. Period. Because you never know if they are struggling or not. That is something my coworkers used to say to me over and over.."when you have kids you'll understand..." blah blah. I finally had all I could handle and blew up at one. They never said a word to me again. Maybe he'll always think twice in the future? BTW, you and I live really close to one another....my first clue was the outfit on your dog!!!
Just to play Devil's advocate- if your friends aren't aware of what you're going through, they can't be supportive or avoid making comments like that. Doesn't lessen the hurt, but just something to think of.
I agree with Fiddle1, no one should ever make "when you have kids..." statements to people without children. You never know what their situation is. I had a friend who complained about pregnancy aches and pains to me, and she knows our infertility issues. What I wouldn't give to have pregnancy aches & pains!!! She just didn't think before she spoke. But I think that hurt more because she knows what's going on and she should've known better...
Anyway, I love following your blog, keep up the good work and enjoy those naps!
I hate comments like that. I would give up hours of sleep at night, a nap on a Sunday afternoon, thousands of dollars, and possibly my right arm, to have a baby in my arms. (I'd rather keep my arm though) Its hard to roll the comments off your shoulder.
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