We went to the zoo on Saturday for a company function with DH's office. His coworker's wife is pregnant with their first child, due in November. They know of our infertility since he and DH share an office and he gets to hear all the phone calls. This is the first time I've seen her in all of her pregnant glory. I said hi to her, but then didn't start any conversation. I couldn't bring myself to ask how her pregnancy was going or say how cute she was. She didn't bring it up either, which was good. They only tried for three months so I'm kind of bitter about that. I wish I weren't like that.
There was another couple there that is expecting twins. I was dying to go ask if she had had fertility treatments, but that's too much of a personal question and I didn't want to intrude. So I just sat there and ate my barbecue, got bitten by mosquitos and waited until we could go home.
8 comments:
I know that feeling - not wanting, or even being able to start a conversation relating to a friend's pregnancy. Its hard.
You're not alone in that.
Ugh, god I totally don't blame you. I can't ask those questions or feign happiness either. It's all a bit much to ask if you ask me. I just came from talking to a co-worker who announced to me his wife was pregnant and I had to come straight to the blogs. I actually surprised myself at how excited I was for him and how upbeat I stayed. It helped that he didn't have a clue what I've been through. I could fake it and he wouldn't be any the wiser. But now I feel like crying. Thanks for being here to commiserate with.
My thoughts of anyone pregnant with twins is to also immediately wonder if they had fertility treatments! So hard not to ask...but I don't :O
Does Kaedyn count as a redneck spelling? LOLOLOL... that just cracked me up. It's funny - a lot of women wouldn't care if you asked, but the few that do who would turn around and give you "that look" really scare you off from even asking.
I'm sorry ya'll were exposed to "the flu" they thought my son had it and it scared the crap out of me because he poor kid has no reserves :( They were going to give him the same thing but called and said don't give it to him because his test came back negative. All I know is that when I tried to give it to him, he spit it out and gave me a look like I just tried to poison him, course, he gives me that look if I give him water... so ya know...
Happy ICLW :)
Oh, that poor child... She'll either be told or figure out that she's named that due to conception location and it'll creep her out at the very least for her teenage years! I guess at least she wasn't conceived in Tallahassee or some such place?
Being around preggos can be tough... My toughest times though are around people who had surprise babies.
I always wonder that with twins. I always want to ask, but its impolite so I never do. I wish we could all be open about it and discuss it.
I hope things work out for you soon.
ICLW
"They only tried for three months so I'm kind of bitter about that. I wish I weren't like that."
I think (hope?) that's a totally normal reaction for people trying to conceive, but I struggle to understand why I too react that way.
And Lon.dyn? Weird. I don't get it. Or the whole Aslee Simpson-Pete Wents "Bronx" thing. Umm, I used to work in the Bronx. Not exactly a nice place. Every time I see that poor baby's picture I think of the Bloods and the Crips.
Hmmm. If we continue the name = place of conception, does that mean we IVF'ers have to name our children "Petri"?
As for dealing with pregnant friends or colleagues with pregnant wives (been there, done that): I am both happy for them and sad that it's not me. Both at the same time.
Jem
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