I have a dilemma that maybe you guys can help me with. Obviously, my obgyn isn't the most sensitive to patients dealing with infertility. However, I really want to stay with his practice. It's a small practice (only three doctors). According to everyone I have talked to, this is the most natural-birth friendly practice in town. I really want to try to have a natural birth with as few interventions as possible.
Almost everyone I know here has been induced by 40 weeks at the latest, and many end up with c-sections in the end. Something I want to avoid if at all possible. Now, if I need interventions, I will gladly oblige, but only if medically necessary. I thought about switching to another doc in the same practice who is known to be the most natural friendly. But that would be kind of awkward wouldn't it? Kind of like switching to another hairdresser at the same salon. I would just rather go to a totally new salon.
Some of you are probably asking why I don't get a midwife and go with a birth center. Well, those don't exist where I live. Because of some pretty restrictive laws here, midwives basically aren't allowed to practice. There are no birth centers, and home births are illegal. Well, homebirths aren't illegal, it's illegal for a midwife to attend to a homebirth. That being said, it still happens. I know of a midwife that does underground births. I trust her completely. She has extensive training. She's trained on The Farm with Ina May Gaskin. But my husband has issues with the legality of everything. And her fee because she is obviously not covered by insurance.
So I'm in a quandary. DH is totally supportive of my wishes to have a natural birth, but I'm afraid that I'll have to fight the doctors the whole way.
This is probably a moot point anyway. I'm not pregnant, and don't know if I ever will be. If I get pregnant with twins, which is a possibility with IVF, that would change the whole story. I would still want to try to have a natural vaginal birth, but the risks are greater with twins and I don't think I would be comfortable at home.
So now I've outed myself as the crunchy hippie. Advice? Wisdom?
10 comments:
Could you switch to a RE and then when you are released because your pregnant you could go back to your favorite doc?
I am facing the same dilemma and have began researching OBs in my area. I'm friends with a midwife but it's illegal for her to assist in a twin birth, which like you pointed out, is highly possible with IVF.
I would just switch to the other doctor, I'm sure that often happens and it wouldn't be a problem. If your current doctor makes a remark about it to you, then say something snarky back.
Hi, stopping by from ICLW blogroll and I wanted to comment on your previous post also. To be honest with you, I understand that you want to stay there as they are the most natural-birth friendly, but really, while you are not pregnant (and of course I hope you'll be soon!) perhaps you could go somewhere else, where you do feel that the doctor at least knows who you are and what you are gong through! Big hugs, Fran
ICLW #51
I'd switch to an RE for fertility treatment (for a number of reasons), then go back to your OB when you need him.
Good luck!
I think you would eventually get over the awkwardness of seeing your old doctor. I changed doctors in my last fertility clinic after the one I had been going with messed up my cycles and body so bad. It turned out to be the best decision I could have ever made. My first doctor never suggested surgery, where the second one suggested it as an option right off. If I hadn't had that surgery, I wouldn't have had my daughter.
What are the chances you would run into your old dr in the hall anyway? Probably not great, but possible.
I say switch.
Despite my current birth desires, I'm actually a fairly crunchy hippie myself. Had I not dealt with ARTs (and the awful issues with the Death Star), I may have felt that I wanted a non-medicated vaginal birth, but as it stands, for me, a caesarian birth will *most likely* work best for my health and the health of my babies. Anyway, all that just to say that my advice may not be as valuable as someone who feels that unmedicated home births are worth it at almost any cost.
However... most OBs ask that you see each practitioner in the practice as a way to get to know the person who may possibly be delivering you when you go into labor. So, I don't think it's out of line at all to request that you see another doctor for gynecologic care occasionally as well. Maybe you'll find someone you like besides your current gynecologist at the same practice.
As far as getting the care you want during birth, unless your local hospital is exceedingly unethical, they cannot force treatments on you which you do not agree to, no matter who your OB is. No one is going to hold you down and force an epidural on you. No one is going to wheel you screaming into the operating room to give birth via caesarian. Labor at home as long as you want to-- they cannot force you to go to the hospital, unless you call 911 for assistance, and who are they to know that your "good buddy" happens to be a midwife who happened to be there when you happened to suddenly go into labor? I'm guessing that the law that you are referencing is pretty hard to enforce, seeing as there's someone you already know of who does "underground births", and that person isn't in jail. And frankly, if the illegal part is not the giving birth at home, but rather *attending* the birth, then you and your husband are both cleared of legal obligations as neither of you are midwives attending your own birth, right? As for the fee, I don't have much advice there. Insurance being what it is, it doesn't surprise me in the slightest that they don't cover midwife care.
Oh, and for what it's worth, three siblings who were very close friends of mine in high school grew up on The Farm. Their mother was a nurse midwife who trained with Ina May (and worked for decades as a nurse midwife outside the Farm until she passed away a while back). They all were of the opinion that Ina May's popularity was a bit overblown, that there were TONS of people who had trained elsewhere who got better training than people did with Ina May-- just wanted to provide that perspective, in case you find another midwife, that the other may be just as great, even if they didn't train with Ina May...
And just one last thing-- you said it yourself, but you're not yet pregnant. It is VERY valid to begin exploring these questions as to who would care for you when you are pregnant, to allow you the birth experience that you desire, but I don't think that you have to worry about switching docs within a practice or leaving the practice altogether, at least not yet. The bigger problem right now is that your current obgyn isn't IF-friendly. Would another doctor in that practice be the same way? If not, do you think they wouldn't allow you to use their obstetric services when you do get pregnant because you've switched in the mean time? I've always had my gyn care done through my primary doc, and had no problem whatsoever getting seen at any of the local obgyn clinics, so unless your current obgyn is just a giant asshole, I don't see why you couldn't return to their care when you do get pregnant if that was the place best suited to your circumstance at that point. I guess I just mean that it doesn't have to be an either/or. You don't have to leave your current clinic in a fit of flying middle fingers and curses-- you just don't see them right now (are you under their regular care, or just for your annual? would they even notice if you switched to a new gynecologist?). And yeah. Us infertiles are most excellent at putting the cart before the horse, and while that generally serves us well in being prepared for whatever situations we encounter, in this situation, I think you should make decisions based on what your current needs are, knowing that you can *always* change that decision when your circumstance changes and you need obstetric care.
Just my (long winded) $0.02.
I say switch within the practice. Every once in a while a doc will get jr high on you about it, but having worked at a 5 doc practice before and it wasn't a big deal at all when patients switched. In fact we liked it better if they stayed within our practice but sometimes were "hurt" if they switched practices. If you're going to be fighting the current OB it will be easier for you both to switch. You need to be completely happy! Worry about that a lot more than the doc's feelings (or awkwardness).
I found your blog through another blog...My husband and I have been ttc our first for 4 years; I know the pain and I wanted you to know that you are in my prayrs!
Love, Hugs and Prayers-
Tiffany
www.thepiferfamily.blogspot.com
I nominated you for an award, see my blog for details!
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