It's February, which means it's time for my annual appointment with the coochie doctor. Originally I was just going to get it done at the RE's office, but since we put off IVF for at least another month, I decided to go to my normal obgyn.
This is the doctor that kind of pissed me off before because when I went to him after ttc'ing for a year he kind of brushed me off. I told him that I suspected a luteal phase defect. His response to me was that it is rare and he had never had a patient with it, so he didn't think I had it. We did one month on clomid with him, which of course didn't work. Then we found out about DH's sperm count.
I had these grand plans of going in there and telling him off. Why didn't he push us to get DH tested? He mentioned it, but it was more in passing, as if he expected DH to not want to go, so we probably shouldn't even bother with it. I wanted to ask why he was so willing to do clomid before doing any tests to even see what the problem was. I'm glad we decided on our own to stop the clomid until we had ruled DH out as a problem. Who knows how many months we would have wasted on clomid and then possibly injectibles.
In the end, I just went in, had the pap smear, and talked a bit about when to get another mammogram (my mom had breast cancer twice). He was so nonchalant about it all. He told me to make sure I'm taking my prenatal because if we're having unprotected sex I needed to do that. Ha! I told him we had done a failed IVF and were waiting a bit to do another one. At the end of the visit he said he would see me when I'm pregnant. Like it's no big deal at all to get pregnant. And I guess it isn't for most people.
I'm sure I'm being oversensitive about it all. And he's really a nice guy, it's just obvious that he hasn't dealt with infertility personally or really dealt with it at all. Maybe his optimism will prove correct and our next (and last) IVF cycle will work (whenever that happens).
18 comments:
Boo to your insensitive obgyn!
Maybe he failed the bedside manner course in med school.
Stopping by from ICLW.
People are idiots. Even doctors. Even baby doctors. I am astounded every day at my obg's incapacity to deal with anything but uneventful pregnancies or to answer any questions at all. So your not alone. But that doesn't make it any less annoying.
Anything can happen though, no thanks to that guy. So even tho he's right, he doesn't get the credit.
Well, I just went to my gyn and when I left knowing that we're still pursuing IF treatments and trying on our own, she said hopefully next time she sees me I'll be pregnant. Boy don't we all hope right? Happy ICLW!
While I love my GP (who does my LadyBits visits), I do regret that I believed her when she said she thought I'd get pregnant easily. I mean, I guess she was right, because I did get pregnant just fine, but I wish it had even been considered that it could have been male factor infertility at play. Doctors (esp. Lady Bits doctors) often have a female-centric view of infertility, which, given their chosen field, might make sense. But without semen analysis, most of the first line treatments for infertility are pointless, and a total waste of money and time for everyone (and are just frustrating to boot).
So yeah. I guess what I'm saying is that I get being upset with your doctor for not more stringently encouraging you to have your husband tested. When you are the primary patient, it's hard in retrospect to realize that many doctors simply ignore that secondary patient. I mean, could you imagine a dude going to his doctor talking about his inability to conceive and having the doctor ignore the *female* half of the equation? I doubt that would ever happen...
Sounds like a jerk! Have you considered switching? Good luck on your next IVF round!
This may be a sexist thing to say, but it's stuff like that which makes me glad to be seeing a female OB/GYN. That said, my favorite RE's are male and they are the best so...maybe I'm just stereotyping. Either way...yuck! Maybe you should consider seeing someone else? If he's this way about fertility, how is he going to handle your concerns during pregnancy?
Best of luck in your TTC journey!
I think you might want to try to find a new ob/gyn. He's so insensitive and rude! Happy ICLW!
I have to also chime and say maybe there's another OB/GYN in your area who is a more sensitive to infertility.
But you calling him the coochie doctor totally cracked me up...
*ICLW*
I know how you feel;we share the same story. 2 years back when I told my OBGYN about our inability to get pregnant, she put me on clomid, without even doing any tests to see if we had any problems. Later my husband was diagnosed with azoospermia! I have always wondered why these doctors ignore the most obvious.
Ugh! I went to two OBs who supposedly specialized in fertility after we'd been TTC for a year and before I learned there was such a thing as an RE. The first one put me on Clomid for no reason (apparently, that was the extent of her fertility know-how), and then when DH's sperm count came back low, told me there was no point to us even trying until he had his varicocele corrected. Um, what?! Like, let's just give up? So I switched to a new OB, who did some more Clomid and a few IUIs before leaving to give birth to her fourth child. I mean, good for her, but a little frustrating in our situation! So that was when we moved on to an RE. Seriously though, you'd think OBs would know to be more sensitive.
I've come to the conclusion that you simply have to deal with an FS if you want your doc to understand IF. All the others are just dumb! Well done on going for your appt though, perhaps I should be inspired to go for mine!
Your OB/GYN sounds totally clueless. I'm sorry you had to suffer through that.
I was so lucky and actually had an OB who had been an infertility patient himself (with treatment, he and his wife were able to have children). I can't imagine having to deal with that.
~ICLW
Ugh I hate drs who are nonchalant about everything. Ive had some less than stellar experiences with Drs who, I believe, knew less about fertility and womens health than I do with no medical training! Sorry you had to put up with one of the jackasses too...
{ICLW}
Hey, here from ICLW. I totally agree with you, that doctor does sound like he doesn't have any clue how those dealing with infertility feel. Anyway, I'm crossing my fingers for you that your next IVF works, whenever that happens!
Speaking from experience. When you have a feeling you are in the wrong place for your care, listen to yourself. You can't that time, money, or emotion back. Whether he's a nice guy or not doesn't mean he is qualified to help you with this very important part of your life. ICLW
Whoa, he seems like he has a 'great' bed-side manner, I would consider finding a new OB.
GL with your next IVF.
ICLW
Personally, I LOVED my OBGYN and I think it is mucho importano to really feel comfortable with him/her...especially when pregnant. You should go to one who is sensitive to your needs and knows your history!
Well, hopefully this next IVF will work for you! Just added your link! Happy ICLW!
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