I've felt kind of off the past two days. Yesterday I drove to the grocery store on my lunch break. It's a store I go to all the time. I made four wrong turns. Took me forever to get there. Then, I turned the wrong way down a one-way street. Thankfully it was a small side road. When I was coming out of the store I saw a sign for Superior Bank. My mind read it as Sperm Bank. Did a double-take with that one.
After work I was supposed to meet up with a friend so that I could pick up a book from her. I got on the wrong interstate downtown which meant a 20 minute delay in getting to her. So annoying. Obviously my mind is preoccupied with something.
Had a weird dream last night. Another dream about adopting a baby. It was a boy, and bless his heart, he was so ugly. I didn't really feel any kind of attachment to him, but I knew I had to take care of him. I was trying to make him a bottle and had to use some awful contraption and I just ended up making a mess. I went to the dishwasher to get a clean bottle and DH had washed them all with the nipples still on so they only got cleaned on the outside. It was one of those dreams where no matter how hard you try, you don't make any progress and manage to fuck everything up along the way. The end of it was funny though, because we went to eat at a Twilight-themed restaurant where everyone had to put on hats that said "Team Edward" or "Team Jacob". I'm not even that much of a Twilight fan.
I woke up feeling very weird and that feeling has carried on throughout the day.
My dad's birthday is today so we went out to lunch together along with a few of his co-workers.
They were talking about my brother and him adopting. One of the women asked if they couldn't get pregnant and if that's why they were adopting. Then the dreaded question, "so can you get pregnant???" It was totally said in a joking way implying that they were trying to figure out if we were trying. It took everything in me not to reply back with, "actually I can't, and we've spent $15,000 trying to get pregnant. It hasn't worked yet, thanks for asking!" Obviously we haven't told my dad about IVF or that we're even trying. A lot of other people know. I don't like keeping secrets. But my dad is nuts. We get along well now, but that's only because I know how to deal with his brand of crazy. My answer to them was that I don't make it a habit of discussing my reproductive system. They asked a couple more times and each time I told them I wasn't taking the bait, it's not an issue open for discussion. They dropped it soon thereafter.
6 comments:
So the real question is, is this twilight themed restaurant did you chose the team Edward or Team Jacob hat? hehe
Haha! I woke up before we sat down, but I would have picked Team Edward. Yes, Jacob does have the better (amazing) body, but there's something about Edward that just pulls my crank. I'd take him pale and all!
I can completely relate to what you're going through right now. Lately, I've constantly missed my turns! I've also gotten out of the shower, to realize after I've dried my hair, that I didn't wash it in the shower (or forgot to wash the shampoo out--I've done both).
My weird dream was that I finally had a baby. I was so protective that I wouldn't let go, the baby slept in the bed with me. One night I woke up and the baby was hanging off the bed. I paniced and started to pull the baby up only to discover that she had turned into a large fish.
Infertility does a number on a girls brain. Geez, the things we go through.
I am glad to hear I'm not the only one who has those days. They drive me insane because not only does it take forever to get anything done, but then I also wonder if I need to go to a doctor. lol
I also hate those kinds of dreams. I've been having those a lot lately too. I wonder if it means we feel like our lives are discombobulated?
Why can't people keep their questions to themselves. I bet they didn't like your first response and were trying to smooth things over by asking the same question in different ways. I bet they felt like @$$hats.
It is so weird what people think is appropriate conversation. And how people can't take a hint. Seriously, they don't get it when you tell them that you don't discuss private parts? I mean, I'm all for breaking down the taboo surrounding infertility, but do people still not get that discussions of personal health maladies are not always appropriate? I mean, unless we're pretty close, I don't want to hear about your cousin's case of gout. I don't want to hear about whatever disgusting procedure you've just endured. When did it become appropriate to discuss with virtual strangers one's most intimate health concerns???
Grr.
I can't believe they kept asking you after your comeback! Wow! I'm sorry your recent IVF procedure did not work. I really feel your frustration about insurance coverage for IVF. To answer your question, yes you would be at a slightly higher risk for PPD if you've dealt with depression prior to pregnancy. Some of the risk factors (not causes) include history of depression, particularly during the pregnancy, previous pregnancy loss, traumatic birth experience, baby with health problems, and a traumatic event happening prior to the birth. The best thing you can do is educate yourself beforehand so that you will be ready to recognize what is happening if it does happen. I had heard of baby blues and PPD, but oddly I just thought it was normal motherhood stress. There is also something known as post-partum stress syndrome, which is milder but can lead to PPD. But if you are home and still crying after two weeks every day, like I was, then it is worth talking to your doctor.
Post a Comment