Things have been going well lately. I told myself I would be positive, and I have for the most part. I no longer worry about never having children. Now I worry about how many. We can only really afford to do this once. By once, I mean two tries because of the Shared Risk. Either way, we'll get one, maybe two babies out of it. We might have something leftover to freeze to try again later, but I'm not counting on that. Don't want to get my hopes up too high.
When discussing everything with our doctor, he said he was very optimistic. I'm young and have no infertility problems, save low progesterone, but that is easily fixed. He said we would be able to choose whether to transfer one or two. They've recently begun transferring just a single embryo for couples who have a high chance of success and most have been successful. But he said it was our choice in the end.
I'm leaning towards two. I really do not want an only child, but realistically, that might be what happens. The idea of twins kind of freaks me out, but then we could be done. We would be done either way, but this way they would have a sibling.
I always dreamed of having a large family. I've had to let that go through this process. It's probably better anyway. I'll be a working mom, there's no way around it. I make more than DH. Not a lot more, but enough to where it would hurt without my income.
As good as I have felt lately, I've been kind of a shitty friend. I just don't feel like socializing all that much. I'm sure some people are mad at me for kind of shutting myself off. I can only deal with so much though. It will probably get worse once we start the injections and everything.
3 comments:
I had a very similar thought process to yours. I would like to have more than one, but realistically, I only have so much insurance, and I really don't want to do IVF over and over again anyway, so it's kinda twins or nothing. Unless we end up with a ton of embryos to thaw later on.
Yeah, that infertility gets to have so much power over our family size is just unfair, I think.
I would be all about doing two as well. I feel the same way you do about having an only child. I hope and pray we get at least one more, but if we don't, I am so grateful we got one. Having twins seems better, given the potential options.
Infertility really does alienate us. It is a sad truth. All that matters are the people who stick with you through it all and understand your need to be cut off for a bit.
*Hugs*
I am glad you are doing better. I have had the same thought as you - that we could have twins and then be done with the process and not have to worry anymore. I hope ivf works for you.
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