Our wtf appointment was today. We've decided for now that we're not pursuing treatments, but wanted to see what the doctor had to say. As far as our lone frozen embryo, he said that it looked to be of better quality than they two they transferred, it just took longer to get there.
If the we did the frozen transfer and it didn't work, he then gave his recommendations. Originally we thought we were dealing with just male-factor issues, but it's apparent now that I have decreased ovarian reserve. However, he said that if we wanted to try another round using my eggs, he wouldn't say no, since we're producing blastocysts. He would also recommend either doing IUIs with donor sperm and injectibles, or IVF with donor eggs. I'm 29. And I need donor eggs. That's just depressing. He also brought up adoption and that there's a small chance we could always conceive on our own.
But we're taking a break. As I said before, we've spent too much money on this. I cried throughout the whole appointment and cried off and on for the rest of the day. Poor Eric doesn't know what to do with me. Every time he sees me crying he asks what is wrong. I don't know why I'm crying. I don't know if it's because it didn't work, or because we're stopping treatment or what. He keeps asking if he can do anything to help. I think only time will help things. This IVF has been a lot harder to deal with than the first one. I had a good cry for one or two days with that one and then I was better. Not totally better, but I wasn't a basketcase that teared up at the sight of a baby. Looking at all the baby pictures at the dr. office as we were checking out made the waterworks start again.
We asked about donating our embryo and the doctor was hesitant to have us decide to do that so quickly. He said that we worked so hard to get it, he wants us to sit on it for a while and think about it. So we are. I also asked about my insulin levels and whether I needed to follow up with that with my regular doctor. I'm thinking about going back on a vegan diet. One because I NEED to lose some weight, and I know that it will help my insulin levels. I just have to get strict about it again.
So that's where we stand. I'm barren at the ripe old age of 29.
9 comments:
Oh hun I'm so sorry :( That's not fair. I'm sure it's come as a great and horrible shock. At least you have one embryo on ice. You will get through this. Best wishes from New Zealand. (HUG)
Hugs :( ♥
Ugh, I am avoiding scheduling our wtf appointment (so I give you props for even going to yours!), but I imagine ours might be similar to yours. It just sucks. We're also not doing any more treatments for a while (or ever?). Hang in there- we will get through this!
Ugh, well at least that appt is over. Wish the RE could have been more helpful. I agree with him, hold onto the embryo for now. Take care during your break. I'm sure it will be helpful for the mind, body, and spirit!
*hugs* I am so sorry that appointment didn't go so well and you have to face this. I hope that time does help you to feel better and to come up with another path.
::giant hugs::
I am so sorry about the appointment. I hope this break helps you.
I wish there was something I could write to make you feel better. I do hope you will be good to yourself, regroup and just take the time you need.
All the best!
IF is such a hard, long road. I hope you can take the time to heal and focus on yourself and DH. Praying for you.
I am barren at 32. I know that doesn't make you feel any better about your situation, but I just wanted to let you know you are not alone. We took a break from trying, decided to do adoption in between trying again, and then I lost my uterus and ovaries to cancer last December. I'm completely empty and barren at 32. And still waiting with our adoption. 7 full years of trying for a family and still no children.
I get the depression. I get the heartbreak. Life has kicked my ass and it is hard to get out of bed somedays.
I am so sorry for everything you are going through.
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